My Last Letter to First Love

bobpop

My Last Letter to First Love 2005-12-29 星期四(Thursday) 晴

By Bobpop,2001

I don't know whether I am right.But I think there may exist too many rulers for the judging of right and wrong.Someone thought me like this, some others thought me like that.So,sometime I nearly considered myself nothing but a mirror.Of course the mirror is not completely smooth. In fact, long long ago, I have taken myself as a wanderer forever. Wanderer Forever, what a beautiful, musical name! But sometime I can't bear that feeling, just can't bear it any longer!

So I want to anchor in a harbor.Once I wrote,even the devil can be my lover,but...

There ever exists two things I can exchange with my life.Yes,you will get them.They are love and science.I didn't know which is the most valuable to me. But one thing I can make sure,I can't live without either of them.

Once upon a time,I preferred science，and that was a very tragic story .I ever thought I could survived everything except the death itself. But then, I suspected it's my doomed day.Yes,it's the turning of everything.But fortunately, I outlived that, thanks to Don and Chang.In my suffering days, I wanna put everything into science：my despair,my pains,my dignity,my genius, just everything, everything, ...

Time passed by. Persons changed some way. I observed ，I thought, I concluded, I created, I progressed, maybe evolved.

I felt no shame for what I have done. If the time turned back, I would do exactly the same as before. That is to be me. Yes, I loved a girl. Love is sth. very very complicated. There are so many articles about love. Maybe only love can be eternal. That girl is my first and sole love.I talked many things with her. But I hurt her too seriously. I changed, she changed, and we all changed. Now I became a playboy.

Yes, a playboy. Everyone thought me as a playboy. I have experienced a serious and thoughtful love. What can I ask for? Being a playboy is very well. But the best is becoming the knight of that girl. I tried, I bleed, I risked...In all my best, I want to be the knight.

But I now feel some tired,so I write here and now. Everyone have some thoughts about playboy.I just played everything.In the past,I took sth. too seriously,too heavily.That have got beyond my bearing. So,I decided to be a playboy.And then I was enjoying my life.I am a goddamned genius.Now,I can make life as arts.Once upon a time,I want to be a great physicist just like Albert Einstein.But during the time I learned physics and mathematics,I found both them are too hard for me. So hard,so hard... And then I got so disappointed at myself.Meanwhile I have fallen in love
with a girl. As a result,I made a decision---choose the science.I may feel sorry for that decision all my life.So,given that shit decision,I am completely deserved what I have suffered consequently.I hated the normal,I hated to be the same as others.In fact,I have achieved the admission to Hell,and so I was pressed to take a travel to the Inferno. After Inferno's baptism,I became another man.More detailed,the time
before,I am a boy,and later ,a man. A playboy is no longer a boy but a man,and a happy man.At least,playboys pretended to be merry suceessfully.

That girl would become my anguish all my life.The love is eternal,so the anguish will.But,my god,I cry for your pity.My lord,my love,if any possibility exists,I will reconstruct that love with that girl at any cost,at all costs. Whatever it takes from me,I will.Now I have got out of the dilemma of science.And now I know the true value of love.And now,the science no longer be the tiger in the way. And now........................

妙妙

可以中英文对照吗？这样我们也好学英语。

木芙蓉

英文日记，真是厉害哈~~通过在线免费翻译，大致能读懂你的意思。
我认为你已经成熟多了，初恋的信，写出来却是自我的反省，令人深思。
不管你涉略哪个领域，物理数学，以科学的思想判断自我的行为，很理性，也很令人尊重。
不要假装快乐，世界是属于年轻人的，祝愿你“花”有所值，这也是对女孩的一个交代。
希望通过炼狱，结束流浪日子，过好每一天。
English diary, really 厉害 Kazakhstan ~ ~ through on-line free translation, and was able to read and understand what you mean.
I think you have matured more, love letters, written out of it is self-reflection, thought-provoking.
No matter what field you are slightly related, physical mathematics, science thought the behavior of self-judgment, it is rational, is also respected.
Do not pretend to happiness, the world belongs to young people, and wish you "spend" some value, which is an explanation for girls.
Hope that through purgatory, ending days of wandering, 过好每一天.

[ 本帖最后由 木芙蓉 于 2010-3-29 19:20 编辑 ]